Hell is but a Dream

I find myself staring at the brick wall in front of me again. After another heavy night of drinking, I find it abnormal to regain consciousness in the same place several days in a row. I’m outside of the abandoned hospital downtown. An eerie place to find yourself on a foggy morning. It seems no one is around, though you can hear the sounds of the city already busy. I lit up a cigarette and proceed to check my phone. It’s 7 a.m. I doubt Luke will be awake at this hour, but I’ll call him anyway.

“Hello?”, he spoke. Clearly I had woke him, but it was no matter to me. All I cared about was scoring.

“Aye mate, could I drop by and pick up?”, I asked.

“Sure, come on by, I’ll get you right fixed up.” I ended the conversation there and started my walk to find a bus line that would take me by his place.

After walking for about 30 minutes I climbed onto the bus, feeling shaky and uneasy. After a short ride I departed the bus and walked up to Lukes. I buzzed for him to let me into his complex, and ascended the 3 flights of stairs to his studio. I was greeted by Luke and a couple of randoms there to get a fix also. I saw the regulars sitting in the corner, clearly still gone from the night before, and went to talk with them. There was Dave, Trista, Kris, James, and myself. Luke came over with the beautiful powder.

“Purest heroin in the country, guaranteed.” He said it with his happy-go-lucky Luke grin he flashes all the time. I paid the man and proceeded to set up my rig. I realized Blu was nowhere to be found in the small studio. I asked Dave where he’d run off to.

“Last I seen he’d been with you, you two left last night yelling about how you guys had a great hook up on coke and were going to keep the party going downtown.”

“Ah. I don’t remember anything after 45 minutes at the pub.” I replied. “But fuck ‘em then. Probably got his ass thrown in the drunk tank again.”

“Your phone is your friend.” Luke said to me.

“The fuck you on about?”, James asked.

“Well”, Luke began. “Ya’know in all them films where they get smashed and take load of pictures to ‘commemorate’ the night and all that shite?”

Slightly intrigued I responded with “Ye, why?”

“Well you and Blu were talking about documenting the night and how you were gonna be famous and shite. Maybe you got a picture of Blu passed out in an alley somewhere taking it up the arse from a man in a donkey suit.”

I decided to see what was on my phone before shooting up. Blu might have some stuff he’s willing to share after all. Going onto the pictures app I see about 50 odd pictures that weren’t there before my black out. I start scrolling through the pictures, seems like a normal night at the pub. There’s Myself, Blu, Luke, James, Trista, Jenna (My lass, or maybe not anymore after what I may or may not have done last night), Kris, and… Wait a sec.

“Who’s this gal Luke?” In the background of all the photos there was what appeared to be a female, long black hair covering her face in all the photos, face visibility at zero.

“Pub hopper I think, said her name was Shana or something similar. She didn’t talk much, only to you really. Was coming on to you the whole night, Jenna was raging mad. Said something about you being inside her or some shite.” Well that came as a surprise.

“I didn’t leave with her at all did I?”, I asked Luke.

“Nope, she left about thirty minutes before you and Blu, talking about waiting on a patient or something. I tell ya man, chick was either smashed to hell, or just plain mental.” I shrug it off, no biggie, I continue through the photos. Ordinary blackout night stuff. I come across a video, this must be the ‘documentary’ Luke mentioned. Started off normal enough. Blu and I were walking around the city. We stopped on a locals porch and did a couple lines of blow. I was talking crazy, something about escaping my dreams. I started laughing at how stupid I was acting. Things went on normal, then we arrived. The abandoned hospital.

“Huh, that explains this morning”, I thought to myself. We climbed through an open window at the place and venture inside. We were walking around the halls smoking cigarettes, joking around and whatnot. He stopped to take a piss on a wall. Dead silent for 5 seconds. Then I faintly hear the sound of metal being slightly dragged across the wall from one of the rooms.

“Must be a homeless fella shacking up here”, I said to Blu.

“I’m gonna go fuck with him”, he responded. About 30 seconds of me trying to talk him out of it, too quiet to make out my words, he still insists on it. I post up against a wall, finishing my cigarette, well I wait for his dumbass to have his fun and get back. He walks into the darkness of the room and disappears from my sight. A loud thud is heard from the room and I call out his name.

“Hey Blu, quit fuckin around let’s go. Oi Blu! Aye ya little fuc-” Whistling. I can make out whistling from the room. The video is becoming tough for me to watch, I feel uneasy. Everyone around me is faded and are incoherent. I’m the only one who hasn’t shot up yet. Kudos to me I guess. I continue watching. The whistling gets clearer now. Approaching me slowly. Then they speak, it’s a females voice.

“Oh sweetie, are you the patient I’ve been waiting for?” Caught up in the video I fail to make the connection between what she said and what Luke had told me the girl the night before had said. It wouldn’t make a difference though. I started running, the camera was shaking and all I could make out was the tiled floor the light on my camera was hitting. I make it outside and the camera goes off. End of film. I wonder to myself why I would stay outside the hospital that night after those events took place. Must’ve passed out. Fuck all this, Blu was always a dick anyway, so what if he died. I grab my dope and go back to my flat. Jenna is there sitting lovely. I tell her I love her and then go and risk my life by shooting up in our bedroom. Classy, right? I come to around 9 p.m. Jenna lying beside me. I don’t want to bother her with this. Fuck for all I know Blu might have got one of his friends and played a trick on me. No matter how unlikely, I would rather believe that rather than what was most likely the truth. I roll over and kiss her cheek, she’s fast asleep. I lay next to her for hours, just holding her. The next couple days go by, I go back into the same old shit, getting drunk every night with Luke, James, Dave, Trista, and Jenna. That night liquid courage got a hold of me. I tell the others I’m going to go pick up some E and I’ll meet them later. I already had the E anyway, so I wasn’t making empty promises. Jenna tried to go with me, but I told her to stay and have fun. That I’d be back soon. I told her I loved her, and gave her a kiss. I can tell you already that this wasn’t our last goodbye. Why did I go? Who is that stupid? What in the fuck is wrong with me? A lot of things probably. I reach the hospital and enter through the window. Walking down the hall I notice a light on in one of the rooms. As I get closer I can make out crying from what sounds like several people. I’ve become a nervous wreck now. Do I continue. The light from the room gives me a better glimpse of the walls in the hallway, stained with blood. I push forward, fighting the knot in my stomach and the voice in my head telling me to turn back. I approach the room now. Only a few steps away. I put my back to the wall and peer into the doorway. It’s them. Luke, Dave, Trista, Kris, Blu, and… My heart sank. Jenna. They’re chained to the walls by their wrists. Clearly beaten savagely. Blood running down their faces, black eyes, busted noses. Jenna sees me and looks utterly terrified.

“You… You bastard. This is your fault.” How the fuck are they here? I just left them at the pub, there’s no way they could get here before me. And on top of that why are they here? What is going on? I run up to Jenna. “It’s alright baby it’s me, I’m going to get you out of here. What happened?” Luke is breaking down screaming and crying. Trista looks at me.

“Why? Please, why?” I’m beyond confused. Kris doesn’t say anything, but gives me a stare full of hatred. Dave and James are silent, not even looking at me. Blu starts laughing.

“What the fuck is his deal?” I wonder.

“He doesn’t know. He’ll never remember.” He speaks softly. What the fuck is going on. The whistling. I hear it coming down the hallway. Slowly approaching the room. Louder and louder, growing closer. I can hear the metal scrapping the tile walls. I’m about to have a breakdown. Then she enters the room. The gal from the pub. She’s wearing a nurses uniform now, stained in blood. Holding an abnormally large knife, she gives me a malevolent smile.

“Ah there you are.” What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck! “The patient I’ve been waiting on. Are you finally ready to cooperate?” She wheels in a wheelchair. I’m so far struck with fear I can’t move. She puts me in the chair and ties me in. I’m forced to watch as she gruesomely murders my friends. First Blu, fuck him anyway though, right? Slit his throat, simple enough, nice and quick. Trista was next. The knife plunged into her chest, the nurse, or fucking whatever she is, began to saw through her flesh, until she cut out her heart. Kris was decapitated, James was skinned, and Luke disemboweled. This took hours, I had the option to close my eyes, but I just couldn’t. Last, Jenna. I prayed for her sake at least a quick death. To my surprise the nurse left the room. Maybe she’ll leave us be? Ha, yeah fucking right. A minute passed and she wheeled in a cart of.. of all these fucking tools. Drill, saw, pick axe, hatchet, scalpel, blowtorch, and a bunch of other shit. She looked at me, that same fucking malevolent smile, and asked

“What should I use?” None of them? Ha, yeah right, she wouldn’t take that for an answer.

“Jenna”, I said. “I love you.” She looked at me for a second, half smiled, then violently screamed at me “Why the fuck won’t you wake up!” Before I had time to think about what she said, the nurse plunged the drill into her eye. Blood. Screaming. I shut my eyes and screamed as loud as her. Then, I woke up. I was in a hospital. Only on a bed, in a clean room. Nicely lit. There was a file on the table next to me. I picked it up and began to read. Kevin —– D.O.B. 5-14-1988 Eye Color: Green Height: 6’1″ Weight: 88kg Diagnosis: Manic Disorder, Paranoia, Split Personality Disorder, Drug Induced Psychosis Patient is highly prone to violent outbursts, and has a false sense of reality. Patient treated with Methadone for heroin withdrawal. He was brought in by police after they found him sitting outside an abandoned building. He was cradling the severed head of one Jenna —–. After apprehending the him police searched the building, finding the extremely mutilated corpses of two other females, and two males, all strapped to chairs. Another male was found bleeding out and was brought to UC immediately. The bleeding was stopped and the male, one Jordan “Blu” —–, survived. He reported that his attacker was Kevin —–, and that he had brought them all to this building with promises of a party. Where Kevin provided drugs and alcohol, and when they became incoherent, strapped them to chairs. He then proceeded to savagely beat them until he eventually killed them. Kevin seems to not be aware of the fact that he did this. He will be treated for mental illness and then will have to appear in court for 4 first degree homicide charges, 1 attempted homicide charge, and a felony narcotic possession. Kevin appears to have stabilized over the past few days and is now allowed to be in his room without restraints. However, if any outburst should occur, immediate sedation should be applied. Doctor —– I couldn’t believe what I had just read. Was that a dream? Did I do all that? A nurse entered my room. It was her. I felt extremely hostile towards her immediately. She fucking killed Jenna. She had some pills on a tray and she was walking over towards me.

“Oh sweetie, how are yo-” I couldn’t help it. I fucking hit her. I began to relentlessly smash my fist into her face until blood ran from her nose and I could feel it crack on my first. Teeth shattered into her throat. Doctors ran in, pinning me down, and produced a needle. They stuck me with it and I felt it coming on. It was happening again, I fell to the floor, prepared to live my hell over, and… And. And… I find myself staring at the brick wall in front of me again. After another heavy night of drinking I find it abnormal to regain consciousness in the same place several days in a row. I’m outside of the abandoned hospital downtown. An eerie place to find yourself on a foggy morning. It seems no one is around, though you can hear the sounds of the city already busy. I light up a cigarette and proceed to check my phone.